Irresistible love
by NeonSummerTime
Summary: Bella has lived in Forks her whole life. Edward and his famly moves there. They seem to be made for each other. But Bella is beeing chased by a horrible disease and she won't let anybody in in her life.
1. bad news and a newcommer

I stared down at my hands patently, following the patterns of all the different lines that crossed them. My mother sat next to me, breathing hysterically, she tried to take deep breaths to calm her self, but failed, instead it got worse. I took her hand in mine and forced myself to smile at her. It seemed to help a bit.

I still really couldn't realize that this was real, that it was really me that was sitting in this small, too white waiting room. I, a normal girl, who had lived such a normal life. I'd gone to high school and I was a pretty good student, I wasn't the most popular girl in school but I had two close friends that I loved and had fun with. I loved to read, I had read every Shakespeare and Jane Austen that existed. A normal life. But of course, that was before. Before this thing came down and ruined my pretty happy subsistence. Before I got cancer.

Today was going to be a turning point, in one way or an other. Either I was going to go home happy, knowing that the disease was going to disappear, knowing that the treatments had done it right. Or, the cancer would have dispersed, and I would not know what was going to happen, only that it would get worse. I forced my self to think positive, but it was hard. I had no idea of how it was with me.

"Bella Swan," a male voice called, it was my doctor. My mom squeezed my hand, and we followed him.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," the doctor said when we arrived to his room.

I froze waiting for the pain to come.

"The cancer has dispersed. It's in a really big part of your stomach. I would say that you have a month more to live. Of course, there's always a bit hope, the treatments may help, but we don't want to make things look like they're better than they really are. I'm sorry."

It was like the time stopped, I couldn't really believe it. Then suddenly, it restarted and became so fast that the whole room was spinning. My whole world, that I had lived in for 17 years, changed, crashed, right in that moment.

I heard my moms' painful, hysterical scream.

xxxxxXXXXXxxxxxXXX

High school. I sighed. All those happy people with their happy lives. Not knowing that it all can end, any minute. That you can loose all the people you love in a second. I thought about my mum, my dad, my family, my friends. All the people that surrounded me, I was never going to see them again. I thought about mum, in what big pain she was in. I wished that I could take that with me in death, and leave her happy with the rest of our family.

I was thinking about how I should tell Alice and Jacob. It would hurt them so much and I didn't know if I could stand seeing them suffering. Mr Banner interrupted my thoughts, by starting the class. I realized that there was someone who sat next to my place. I didn't look up, just sat down. I wasn't going to get to know more persons now; I would only end up hurting them later.

Today, apparently we should work in pairs of two.

"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen", my neighbour said.

I turned around to look at him. It shocked me when I saw him.

He was extremely beautiful. He had pale skin and beautifully shaped lips that seemed incredibly soft. His bronze colored hair was all messy, it looked extremly sexy.

And his eyes.

They were a shade of green whom I had never seen before, like when the sunlight is able to come through a dense grove of trees and give the trees a more distant kind of green.

- Um..Bella.. I managed to stammer out like an idiot with speech impediment

Then silence.

I can't say I didn't try to come up with something to say, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him and I worried that if I would say something I would probably sound like a retard.

I have to admit..I was mesmerized.


	2. Those Fucking Consequenses

**Okay, so here's the second chapter. I know the first wasn't so long, but they will get longer. If someone reads this it would be nice if you leaves a review! Thank you!**

**EPOV:**

I sighed. Forks were really boring. It was so irritating that Esme wanted to live in a small town. I really liked Phoenix; it was a big city with life, always something to do. Emmet and Jasper had enjoyed it too. There were concerts almost always and I had had a lot of funny friends.

But even if I was sort of furious at her right now, I knew it wouldn't last long.

Me and Esme, the woman that with Carlisle, had adopted me, Emmet and Jasper when we were very young, had a strong bond, and it was really hard for me to be mad at her.

She just wants our best, I told myself.

Someone sat down beside me. I didn't bother to look up. The school did things that I had already done in Phoenix, so that wasn't interesting at all. Mr Banner told us that we were going to work in pairs of two.

I thought of Esme and decided to try at least. So I turned my face to my neighbour. She had her back on me.

"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen", I said.

She turned around to face me. Whatever she was going to say, she stopped herself.

She looked really pretty. She had pale cream skin, now with a lovely red blush on her cheeks, brown wavy hair down to her waist.

Her eyes were like melted chocolate. They had a deep that I'd never seen in brown eyes before.

She seemed a little bit off, like she was thinking intensly of something. I couldn't help but wonder what was on her mind. She looked

"Um…Bella", she said shyly.

Still off. It was starting to bug me now. I was never good at reading people, but still i was

"What are you thinking about?" The words came out without giving me even the slightest chance of me stopping it. Damn it, why couldn't I ever try to get a fucking hold of myself?

"I'm sorry, you don't havet o answer that."

"Um…no it's fine.. I eh.. well there's a lot of things going on right now."

"Oh really? Something serious?" I couldn't beliave i asked that, why would she wanna spill out all of her inner thoughts to a guy she just met. This was stupid.

"Well..life does not always turn out the way you thought it would, you know. I guess you should be aware of that the entire time, but sometimes it's just so hard. Like, I don't know… sometime you just want to do stuff without thinking about everything else, live for the moment you know. But you always havet o think about the fucking consequenses. "

I stared at her. She seemed so much older when she talked, like she had gone trough way more than other folks our age. She seemed experienced. I realised that I found that very appealing.

She suddenly stopped herself, blushing. God that blushing was hot.

"Wow, you must think I'm some kinda freak or something. Sorry, I will shut up now."

"No no, please don't. Consequenses sucks. I usually just ignore them. Living for the moment can actually be good. You approve of so much more things."

"Yeah, it's just so much other things that matter too, you know."

"There always is, it's a fucking world of them. But are they all worth what you may otherwise get to experience?"

"Hmm, dunno" She mumbled.

It was that akward silence again. Understandeble this time though.

We spent the rest of the lession doing what we were supposed to do, chatting a bit, about normal things.

Then the bell rang and the lesson was over. As I walked out that door I still couldn't get out her words of my mind.

**Bella**

I was relieved when the bell rang. God, I was embarrassed! Why would I have to start spilling my thoughts out to a random stranger. It didn't matter that he was extremly hot and that that was the only thing i came up with to say. You don't do that. His response though, it made me think. He seemed like the type of person that lived for moments. At least from what he said. He didn't seem to think that you should care for all the consequenses all the time, in every descision you made. That wasn't what you could say about me. My freinds would probably describe me as kind, caring and thoughtful. I always thought about the consequenses, in every desition i made.

But now I was tired. I suddenly felt ready for living a little. Maybe with this i'm-very-hot-and-i'm-living-for-the-day-guy. But I still had important consequenses there. Why would I be so mean to someone and get to know them when I would hurt them in the end by disappearing.

Forever.

I just simply couldn't.


	3. Telling

**I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to update, it was trouble with the different chapters. but here it is! And please please, please leave a review! For me, hahah xD**

**BPOV:**

As I ran, the tears finally began to fall. I felt like ditching, I couldn't be here like this.

In the big entree, Alice already was waiting. Sometimes it felt like she had some sixth sense or something. She always seemed to know when something's going to happen, like she got a warning or something.

"Alice" I cried. I ran right into her, but she caught me and embraced me.

"Bella, are you okay?" she said and started to walk with me out to her car.

I didn't answer, I just continued sobbing. She understood. Alice was the best friend you could ever have. She didn't say much in the car. I just sat there and stared out the window, tears streaming down my face. She stopped the car by a clearing and draped me out to a big flat rock and sat down beside me.

"Now, tell me everything" she said and put her arm around me.

I didn't know how I was going to do this. I hated to see people I cared about suffer. But I couldn't not tell her, that would be even meaner.

"Alice" I hesitated. Then took a deep breath and started over.

"Alice…I….I'm….I'm dying Alice" I looked at her, with fresh tears in my eyes.

At first she just stared at me like I'd said something impossible. Then it seemed to sink in. Her beautiful pixie face twisted in pain and she stared at me with fear in her eyes.

She began to sob hysterically.

"No! No no no no no! _No! _NO! Bella please say this isn't for real! No!" She began to screem painful hysterical sobbing screams.

I pressed her down to my lap, and stroked my hands over her back.

"I know, It's the cancer, it's gotten worse. I only have a month more to live" My voice started to shake. Alice's screams turned even more hysterical.

"And there isn't any chance that you'll survive?" she asked after a while, when she had calmed her self down a bit.

"They said that there was a tiny chance, but it wasn't good. So I'm probably just gonna die, with my luck." I tried to say it as a joke, but it only became a sad establishment.

Alice just hugged me.

We just sat there, it could have been hours, without saying anything. It was easier to suffer together.

"There is something else, too, isn't it?" She asked after a long moment.

I sighed, she knew me too well, so why hide anything?

"Well, there was a guy..." I started, not sure how to say this.

"I…I met one of the new students today, he sat next to me in Biology. So, now I think I understand the expression love at first sight. But there were bad timing, I mean I can't get to know this guy now. It's horrible because he really seemed like the most beautiful person on earth and I don't mean it on the outside, though he was really good looking too.

"Bella, if you only have a moth more to live, why can't you just start thinking a bit about you self and living the sweet life?"

"I can't stand hurting him, I already have a bunch of people I'm hurting and that are enough."

"Yes, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life suffering?"

I was quiet; I didn't have any good answer for that.

The rest of the week wasn't easy, I had to tell Jacob, my wonderful gay friend.

For once he didn't just talk about celebrity guys asses or what he thought I should wear, he actually started to cry hysterically.

I had to go to a lot of examinations that only confirmed that the cancer was getting worse.

And I had to avoid Edward Cullen completely. For some reason, that was the hardest part. I was always close to slip, but then I thought about Alice's and mums and dads and Jacob's pained faces. That always stopped me.

**The fourth chapter is co****ming really soon. **

**And it's not so hard to leave a review! It's really close! Pleeeease ******


	4. Saturday night party

**I'm sorry that the chapters always have different length. I'm really not much of an organizer, but I'll try my best! It surprises me that it really can take some time to write just one chapter, but it does. Now here it is! **

**Thank you**

**EPOV:**

"Edward, we have to go, or we're missing the party" Emmet shouted from down stairs.

"Yay, party in Forks" I muttered to myself. I really didn't feel like going, what could a party in Forks really be like? Not good if you compares it to the ones in Phoenix.

But I still went. I told myself that it only was to satisfy my brothers; they seemed pretty exited about it.

But I knew the real reason.

Bella.

Maybe she would be there and maybe I would get a chance to talk to her.

She'd been avoiding me this whole week. It was like I didn't exist. If she were there I would go talk to her, ask her if she had a problem with me or something.

But something said me that this wasn't about me at all. The sad expression on her face and the emptiness in her eyes told me that this was something else, a heavy burden on her back. Maybe that just was an illusion, maybe she just thought I was really annoying.

That was exactly why I needed to talk to her. If it wasn't me, then maybe I could help her.

Bella, she seemed so fragile, so breakable. I felt a strong need to protect her.

I had to remind myself that I only had spoken to her once. She would probably just think that I was a weird creepy type.

I ran out the house and jumped in Emmet's car.

When we arrived, the party was already started. Maybe I had underestimated it a little bit. Everybody was already crazy and drunk. People danced at the tables.

But I didn't see Bella anywhere. I really didn't feel like being here anymore but I couldn't go home, since it was Emmet's car.

"Stucked on a party in Forks, great", I muttered.

"Helloo sexyy! Do you want to join meeee in the beeedroom" A drunken Jessica Stanley started to giggle. Ugh, I needed to get away from here. I ran down behind the house and down to a little lake. I sat down on a little bench and just let the thoughts float free.

**BPOV:**

I sighed as I sat in the car. I really didn't feel like going to this party. But when Alice has decided something, you can't change that. No matter what you do. She really thought that I should live as much as I could the short time that was left. But I really didn't feel like that. I was too sad to pretend.

When we arrived Alice dragged me to the middle of the dance floor and started dancing. I danced half-heartedly and tried to smile, but I don't think I fooled anyone. Of course it all just ended with that I fell right on a guy that stood and made out with his girlfriend, all three of us falling to the ground.

After that I just walked away. Alice didn't stop me now. It seemed like she stood with one of the new guys Jasper. She really seemed to have a good time and I didn't want to bother.

One of the new guys. My heart started bumping faster. Wasn't that Edwards brother? Did that mean that he also was here?

A part of me started jumping up and down of excitement.

A big part.

I knew I shouldn't see him, but I still wanted to.

I looked around but didn't see him. Maybe he wasn't here after all. I felt disappointed. I tried to control myself, to block Edward Cullen out of my mind. But that was just pathetically impossible. I wanted to go home, but I couldn't. I regretted that I hadn't taken my own car.

I sighed and walked down to the backside of the house, looking for some private place.

Down the hill was a little lake with a few trees. That seemed perfect.

Too late, when I were already were down there, I realized that someone else sat there on a bench.

Edward turned around and faced me.

He was so beautiful in the dimly moonlight; my heart started beating double speed.

"Bella." He said. Oh I loved the way he said my name.

"Hi Edward" I said, shaken.

"You didn't enjoy the party?"

"No, eh…not so much. Dancing is not…the best thing for me. I just falls down…and takes people with me" I stuttered.

"Oh, so you're a real klutz?" he laughed.

"I'm afraid so. But how come you didn't like it?"

"It wasn't so many interesting people. The people I wanted to talk to wasn't there."

First I felt all warm inside, he wanted to talk to me! I t felt like I cold ran around the world of excitement. Then I remained myself that this wasn't good. I was just going to turn around and go back when he started speaking.

"Bella, please sit down" His tone was soft and he looked into my eyes

"Just for a while" He continued in a soft irresistible tone. I sat down without thinking. It was like my body took over. And my brain blocked out the part that wanted to run away.

We sat and talked there for what felt like hours. He asked me a lot of unimportant questions and I felt like I just babbled on, but he seemed truly interested. I got to know a lot about him. He was really musical and played the piano, though he'd never taken a single lesson. He liked a lot of music and we found out that some of our favourites were the same. I really enjoyed being with him, I could really be myself and still feel special. He seemed honestly curios.

Suddenly a song that none of us had heard before started playing.

Let's dance little stranger  
Show me secret sins  
Love can be like bondage  
Seduce me once again

Burning like an angel  
Who has heaven in reprieve  
Burning like the voodoo man  
With devils on his sleeve

Won't you dance with me  
In my world of fantasy  
Won't you dance with me  
Ritual fertility

Edward looked with intense eyes on me. I looked back into them. I had to remind myself to inhale and exhale. My heart started racing.

Edward stood up and took my hand.

"Dance with me" He whispered.

"But I can't" I said, now starting to shake.

"I'll hold you in place" He smiled a smile that literally took my breath away.

I wasn't hard to convince, not when it was with Edward. He lifted me up and placed me on his feet. Then he started moving. I pressed myself closer to him, inhaling his delicious scent, feeling his hard chest. He tightened his arms around me. I looked at him and suddenly got a lust to kiss him. He looked at me with intensity, leaning his face closer; I felt his sweet breath on my face.

I leaned closer too.

And our lips met, it was like fireworks exploding inside me. Butterflies in my stomach went crazy.

I felt his tongue on my lower lip and opened my month, making an entrance.

His taste was like…not describable.

When he didn't kiss my mouth, his lips was on my throat, on my ears, on my neck, in my hair…

But the kiss had to, like every other kisses, come to an end. He slowly pulled away.

When I stood there, looking at him, I realized what I had done. I'd done what I promised myself not to do. I was going to hurt him. I was an awful person.

"I, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that" I said with a painful voice.

"Bella, what are you talk…"

"I'm so sorry, I got to go" I interrupted and then ran away.

Again.

I ran up to the party.

"Alice, Alice, I need to go home" I realized there were tears in my eyes.

Alice stood and made out with Jasper, but I'd interrupted her.

"I'm sorry, I'll call you." She said and ran to me.

"What happened Bella? Are you okay" she asked, worried.

"It's nothing like that, I just need to go home, you don't have to come, but I was just going to tell"

"Of course I'll come with you, now let's go"

So we walked to her car, me sobbing, Alice with her arm around me. The whole party stared at us in wonder.

**It's re****ally close to the review button ! pleeeeease! :) **


	5. New persons makes big change

**Okay, I know I haven't been updating for **_**really **_**long, but the internet hasn't been working until now. But that means I'm done with more chapters instead, but not too many, cuz I have been doing a lot of things. But here it is, finally. Enjoy**

**EPOV:**

I just sat there, staring. I felt really bad. It was now pretty clear that her strange behaviour was settled because of something bigger than just an annoying guy. This fact that I wasn't the reason, that it wasn't her disgust for me that made all this, didn't make me feel better in any way. Because it looked like she really suffered and that was much worse, to see her suffer, I would rather be settled as the ugly disgusting guy for all girls than to see her suffer like this.

I wanted to help this girl, but I didn't know what to do.

I made patterns on the saet beside me with the tips of my fingers and suddenly felt something hard.

Her purse.

Don't they say that a girl can't go a day without her purse? Maybe there was something _really _important in this bag, that she absolutely needed. It was probably best to deliver it tonight, right now. I felt a smug smile enter my face as I ran up to the others.

Emmet stood in the middle of the crowd, dancing like a crazy drunken idiot, which was just what he was. That wouldn't do much. I saw Jasper talking to a few guys and went there instead.

"Jazz, is it ok if I take the car for just a couple of minutes, I need to do something important."

"Sure, but don't take to long, Emmet's beginning to go wild. And _extremely_ irritating. He threw his drink on me because he felt like he was starring in some chic's movie.

Three times." Jasper seemed really upset, and I easily empathize with him. Emmet was irritating as sober. As drunk there weren't words good enough.

"Yeah sure, I'll be back in a half hour" I ran away.

**BPOV:**

Alice was quiet as she drove me home. She didn't say a word until she suddenly abruptly stopped the car.

"Bella, you can't go on like this" She said seriously.

"What?" I said

"Oh don't pretend, you know exactly what I'm talking about, do you want to mourn the rest of this month you have left? Do you really want an end like this? Bella, you know how I feel about this. You're my best friend and you're maybe going to die." She got tears in her eyes and her voice broke twice.

"Is it so mean if I just want to make these weeks to good memories, so that I can always remember you like this, happy and smiling? Even if you don't realize it, it's exactly what you need, too."

I had nothing to say against that, I knew she was right. I wrapped my arms around her in a comforting movement

"That was what I thought. Oh, and since I'm such a great friend I know exactly how to help you. At the party I was speaking to Rosalie Hale and…"

"Wait a second, Rosalie Hale?" I interrupted shocked

"_The _Rosalie Hale?" Rosalie Hale was the most popular girl in school and probably the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She had long blond hair that made people in hair commercials jealous, a body that models would kill for and a face that made every girl in the same room self-conscious. The guys were crazy about her and took every chance they got to try to impress at her. All the girls wanted to be her best friend and always tried to fawn on her. She was the centre of the school.

What could someone like her and someone like me have in common?

"Yeah, I talked to her and told her that you had a hard time and needed to be cheered up. I mean, who's better to make things happen than Rosalie. She actually seemed kind of exited!" I wasn't shocked that Alice had gotten Rosalie into this, Alice was extremely hard not to like and when she put her charmers face on, no one had a chance.

It was all kind of weird, but I knew she meant well, so I hugged her.

"So I invited her, she's on her way" She said, happy with her self.

I didn't feel like starting an argument, Alice would always be Alice, which means impossible to stop.

There was a little later, when we sat in my room that Alice brought it up. I'd found out that I really liked Rosalie.

"I'm pretty sure I know what everyone in here want" she said.

"Alice, you don't know what I want" I said, irritated for some reason.

"Oh, I know exactly what you want!" she laughed smugly. I growled.

"Are you gonna make me say it? Huh? Are you Bella?" I reached out to punch her, but she was quick and jumped gracefully up to my bed.

"You want EDWARD CULLEN!" Rosalie looked at me surprised.

I flushed tomato red.

"You do?" I felt self-conscious, of course Rosalie just thought that it was completely weird. What could someone so average like me and someone so divine like him have in common?

"That's really cool. You got to take your chance and not blew it, you two would be great together." She said, smiling.

I just stared at her in shock. Did she really think that, or was she just trying to be nice?

"Okay, I think you should live your life! And take your chance on Edward, cuz it's lookin' freakin' good! Let's go to the PARTY! And get DRUUNK!" Alice shouted. "Yeah, that's exactly what we should do! Show him what you actually feel!" Rosalie shouted.

It wasn't a bad idea when I thought about it. Why couldn't I get to live my life a bit, too? I didn't always want to think at the consequences. And, even if I did protest, I would never have a chance against Alice and Rosalie, so what was the point?

Tonight I was gonna live.

I took a deep breath…

"OKAY, LET'S GO!" I shouted.

I didn't see _him_ at the party. Maybe he had gone home, but his brothers were still there, the big one seemed like he should pass out any minute. He literally jumped over Rosalie and knocked her to the ground. At first she became really mad, but as everybody else laughed she couldn't resist joining in after a while.

Of course he wasn't there; he couldn't really like me after I just ran away. I understood if he felt disgust for me. I had my chance and I'd blown it. I started to hit my haid against the table until I thought I had lost enough brain cells. After that there was just one option left…get drunk. So I just drank and drank…and drank.

**EPOV: **

There was nobody home at Bella's house. Maybe she was asleep. I shouldn't weak her up. Maybe I could come by tomorrow instead. A girl must make threw a night without her purse, I hoped.

I couldn't help by feel a bit disappointed. I sighed and got in my car.

The party was even wilder than when I left. There was a brown haired girl who danced at the tables. I laughed, she seemed sickly drunk. I swallowed that laugh, it was Bella.

So she hadn't gone home, she'd just been hiding from me.

The thought hurt more than if some actually should had hit me in my stomach. She didn't want me after all. I didn't fit in her world. I wasn't good enough for her.

She suddenly jumped down the table to that pathetic guy Mike Newton that I'd been feeling disgust for since the first time I saw him. Her face lit up and she bend forward to kiss him.

I suddenly felt the anger coming. What did that stupid Mike "Discusting" Newton have that I didn't have? Was he smarter, or what? Was I just some object?

She suddenly pulled away, with a disgusted expression on her face. It sounded like she said something like

"You're not him…" But I wasn't sure. I couldn't help but feel a bit smug; at least Mike Newton got turned down.

She ran away to the drink table. I thought I saw tears in her eyes. All my anger fell off of me. Bella shouldn't be crying, even if she'd hurt me, she shouldn't be crying. I couldn't help myself, I ran to the drink table.

"Bella, are you okay?" I said carefully.

She turned around, shocked. Then her face rose up. In her excitement she tipped the whole table over, with all the drinks falling to the grass. Everybody screamed angry at her, but she didn't seem to notice.

"EDWARD!" She screamed happily.

"You're the real Edward! I'd been waiting for you!" She laughed happily and threw herself at me. Wow, she was drunk. She made us both fall to the ground with her on top, her face only inches from mine. I stared into her eyes for a long moment, feeling the electric tension between us.

It didn't take long for her to lean down and kiss me. This kiss wasn't as gentle as the first one, none of us were careful now. She swept her hand threw my hair, I stroke her face with my both hands. She smelled alcohol, but with her wonderful strawberry scent in the background.

We rolled around down at the ground, only vaguely noticing that we were rolling down the little hill. So it all came as an shock when we smashed down into the water.

Bella started to laugh hysterically, it sounded so funny that I had to join in.

"Edwaard!" Bella said when we'd gotten up from the lake and sat at our bench.

"Yes?" I smiled, she was so cute, even as drunk, even though she was terrifying dangerous.

"You are amaaazing! I mean, sooooooo… I donnnoo…I think I love you." She crowded up in my lap, hitting me in the stomach with her elbow without noticing.

I froze, I knew she was drunk and didn't mean that, everyone used to be a little oversensitive as drunk, but those words…they made me feel so…lucky.

"I know I've been mean, but I caan't stay away from you. You are my peeeeeersooonaal angeeeeel" she sang. Before I could say anything I heard someone scream.

"Bella, your dad is calling, we got to go _now_" it was Alice.

I carried Bella up the hill and helped Alice to get her in the car. Alice gave me a thankful smile. I couldn't stop thinking at what she'd just said. I was realizing that even if she didn't feel that way, I did.

Later, in the car, I saw something in the front seat. Her purse.


	6. What should be a cup of coffee

**Ciao everyone! I know I've been bad on updates, but I've got a lot to do (I know there's always some excuses, but that's how it is) I would be really glad if you leave reviews! **** :) The more reviews I get, the faster I'm going to update, because you get more inspiration if you have more reviews. **

**Now, here's chapter 6:**

**BPOV:**

The morning after, always a pain. My head hurt and it felt like everything was spinning around. I sighed. What was I thinking? Drinking with cancer, really smart. It didn't help that I had these embarrassing memory pictures. I really hoped they all were dreams. Like that one where I was kissing Mike Newton, ugh. I remember thinking that it was Edward. Wow, I must have been drunk. Of course I understood, even if I was drunk, that he wasn't Edward when I actually kissed him, he didn't have Edwards wonderful taste.

A memory of kissing Edward suddenly came in review. I smiled and sighed happily.

I remembered laying on the ground, kissing him. And then everything suddenly went wet. Hmm…

I had no idea of what that could be. Weird.

I remembered sitting on a bench, talking. I could only vaguely remember telling him something I thought he should know. Wait…_What did I tell him?_ With my luck it was probably something horrible embarrassing. Fuck it! What would he think about me? Some crazy desperate girl for sure.

I was interrupted in my thoughts by the doorbell. It was weird; I didn't expect to see anyone.

I opened the door just to get a shock. The most godlike creature in the world stood on my doorstep. I felt a surprised expression on my face. What did he want this early in the morning? Not that I minded to see him, but I probably looked horrible. I shuddered at the thought at how I must look now.

"Hey...Edward" I said confused and dazzled.

"Hello Bella, I'm sorry if I disturbed you or something, it's just that you forgot your purse yesterday"

"Oh, thanks" I said smiling weakly.

"Are you tired after the night?" He said that in a way that made me feel like I missed some inside joke.

"Uh…yeah. I hope I wasn't too annoying" I said

"No. You were…quite funny" He said, fighting a laugh.

I froze. I could have said anything.

"Oh no, what did I say?"

"Not that much?"

Suddenly I got a really strong memory. Me and Edward sitting on bench and I'm telling him something, something like…. I love you.

"W-what…I mean…did show some kind of feelings for you, or was that just a dream?"

He didn't say anything, so that just confirmed it. I sank down to the ground and hid my face in my hands.

"Oh no" I groaned "I'll never get drunk again! I didn't you that you would get so…honest"

I pressed my hands harder to my face, refusing to look at him.

"Wait," He said with a smile in his voice. "Were you serious?"

I looked up at him, frozen for one second. Then I sank even deeper down. I wished I could melt down through the ground. What was wrong with me?

Suddenly I was pressed to his chest, his arms wounded tight around me.

"I love you too" He whispered in my ear.

A wave of thousands big fat butterflies proceed in my stomach. Was this really true? Did he love me too? For a second I thought I was flying. This was too good to be true.

Then it hit me, this was bad, really bad. I had to do something and do it fast. But what?

All my time ended abruptly when he took my face in his hand and leaned forward to kiss me.

In burst of ideas I leaned away as fast as I could and cleared my throat.

He looked confused and studied my face hard.

"Listen, Bella. I know that you're hiding something from me, and I also think that it would make it all easier if you told me, no matter what it is. " He said after a while.

I sighed. I already had gone too far. I shouldn't never had let this happened. But wasn't it too late now? Didn't he have a right to know? I sighed.

"Do you wan't coffee?"

**EPOV:**

"Sure" I said smiling. It all felt really forced out. I couldn't stop wondering to think what her problem was. I knew I had to help her.

"Listen, I understand if you just want to run away when you hear this and I won't blame you"

That was just so stupid. I would stand by her through a tsunami. I gave her a sarcastic look.

She started to laugh, but it wasn't a happy laugh, it was more like a hysterical laugh that screamed "Help me".

She just laughed more and more and I started to get worried. I heard a smash. She had fallen to the ground. But she no longer laughed, she laid there and seemed like she couldn't breath.

I froze for a million of a second. Then I went hyper.

"Bella? Bella?!? What's wrong?!? I'm calling 911!!

"Ed…Edwwrrd….s'okay…don't…worry" She pressed out

"Are you saying I shouldn't worry?" I almost screamed.

"When you're laying here and almost can't breathe, I shouldn't worry? What do you think about me?" I felt the hysteria in my screams, in my whole body, from my hair bottom to my toes.

"Hey, we have a girl here who can't breath! We need an ambulance RIGHT NOW!" I screamed in the phone.

Bella's expression just grew more and more filled of pain. I felt so worthless, I couldn't do more than just lay beside her with my arms around her and talk calmly to her, which was hard since I was nowhere near calm myself. The ambulance came after five minutes and they got her in fast. I rode with her and held her hand all the way.

"Edward...I should tell you…now" She said, she could breath better since she got extra oxygen.

"No Bella, I don't need to hear that now. Just relax and don't think about that now, okay?" I said as I stroke her cheek.

"But-"

"Not now"

She sighed. "Okay"

The ambulance pulled over and the doors opened. They got her in a room to look at her.

I sat there in that too white waiting room, feeling the worry take over my whole body, like a fire that disperses, fast as the storm wind, in a house.

After what felt like hours they came back.

"She's in her room, it was the cancer that had dispersed more again. She's open for visits"

Cancer? _Cancer_? I couldn't get the words in to my head. Cancer, the disease.

"Cancer?" I asked, struggeling to find my voice.

"Yes, didn't you know that? She's been having that for a few months. But it was now for a week ago that it went serious."

My heart stopped beating. Everything went still.

"What do you mean by serious?" I pressed out.

"You don't seem to be well informed. Isabella Swan has a cancer that has dispersed extremely. She only has less than a month more to live."

In that second, my life ended. Everything lost its meaning, nothing mattered anymore. Except for her: my sun, my food, my oxygen. My life, the thing I couldn't live without was going to be lost for all future. I had only known her for really short, but I knew in that second that we were made for each other, it was written in stone before we even were born. But that would fade away, disappear. The room span around, but I couldn't care less. Then everything went black.

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	7. authors note READ!

So I know I'm sometimes bad at updates, but this time it's not my totally fault. I'm going to the US in two weeks, and I'm not going to be able to reach internet.

But look at it from the bright side, I probably going to have a lot of ideas to the next chapters. Yeah, I'm pretty sure about that, you'll have time for that in an eight hours flight. ;)

So then it'll go faster when I'm back again.

Have a great summer!

Love Dottie


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